That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
