there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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