garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Pappa wants mamma naked
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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