her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I love having hate sex.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
