big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
