Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize