what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
