Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
