Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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