Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
