It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
