If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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