Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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