I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
