Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
