dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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