we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I made him laugh his dick is mine
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
