do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
