operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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