I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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