Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
