...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
