So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
