College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she told me i tasted like america
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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