meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
This is classic penis vs brain.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
