he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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