I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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