There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
