I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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