she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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