I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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