Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
she peed on how many people?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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