there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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