Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Ketchup is God's man juice
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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