guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
