i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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