Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
