Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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