We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
Just dont open the beer drawer.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual