YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's