Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
