Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
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This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
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All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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