Will you blow on my dice?
her vagine was all disorganized.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
