why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
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Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
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You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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