just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
