I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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