I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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