they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
