The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
