xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
