I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
