that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
