It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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