Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
