check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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