yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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