I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
