I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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