Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
