My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
