i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
