He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
