I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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