I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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