JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
