Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
