no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
