where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
