she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
