Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
