It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Randomize
