He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize