And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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