you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
